always and forever??

friends are awesome.. i have to say..
;D i love them dearly and sincerely.... they are there through it all thick and thin..

and then one day. they disappear.
my friend.. lets call her "S" decided to not make some very happy choices.. and now i feel like we are drifting apart.. and shes one of the friends i thought id really have for life..
=/ it really sucks because she doesnt realize it.. but i do..
she decided to date this boy.. lets call him "C" and she started partying and drinking and doing pot.. and it scares me.. a LOT!! then she suddenly isnt with "C" anymore.. now shes with "D" and im like "WHO IS THAT?!?!" she doesnt tell me anymore..
and that hurts and scares me too..

i mean.. shes eighteen she can do what she wants.. but it still hurts to see her doing that.. when she needs me now.. she just calls me.. she doesnt come over.. and when she does.. its never to hang out.. its to give my mom something from her mom.. i feel like i lost a sister in some ways.. and that.. more than anything shes doing to herself.. thats what hurts me the most.. that i might be losing her.. for real.

me=confused
love you all